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Why Should I Do This?

Posted on September 29 2020

In life, I've found that the hardest question to answer is why? 

Why did I do this? Why didn't I do that? Why haven't I started? Why do I feel this way?

After going back and forth with myself for so long, I finally answered my own question of why am I on this fitness journey. The answer was simply "because I love myself that much."

***************

Six and half years ago, I had come to my absolute lowest point in my life. I was freshly out of a domestic violent relationship, subletting an apartment as I was on the run from my ex and I couldn't put anything in my name, my car had broken down and I had no money to repair it or get a new one, I was on the verge of being fired from my job because I had no dependable way of getting there, and I'd gotten to my heaviest weight of 250 lbs!!

   

Mentally, I was in a fog. I didn't know if I was coming or going. I'd become so depressed that I'd started stress eating. I couldn't tell anybody what I was dealing with! Anything unhealthy that I could get my hands on, I ate. I was constantly at the local gas stations grabbing whatever snacks I could get my hands on. I fried EVERYTHING and lived off of sugary juices and sodas. I knew I was gaining weight, so I figured if nobody said anything about it, it wasn’t real. I was so ashamed of how I'd let myself go!

I knew I had to do something about all of this weight, but what...how? I'd just come back from my primary doctor for my yearly physical and was told that I had hypertension and that I was being prescribed medication to get in under control. I was in shock to say the least because I was only 27 yrs old!! Why was I 27 yrs old and being prescribed high blood pressure medication?! I got angry and told the doctor that I refused to take the medication and stormed out of the office. So here I am sitting in the parking lot, obese with hypertension and I'd just walked out on someone who claimed they were trying to fix me.

I cried...a lot, but then I got mad! I was mad that I allowed myself to spiral out of control, I was mad that I stopped caring about myself, I got mad because...I stopped loving myself! But that was all about to change because I had finally found my why behind my start! 

A fire had been ignited!! 🔥🔥🔥

 

*******TO BE CONTINUED********

3 comments

  • roIKRaTxQscMWVD: September 30, 2020

    toqYbmesH

  • bQHJfukoyBTMUY: September 30, 2020

    ceRUaqBsowShLAI

  • Jasmine Johnson : September 29, 2020

    💛 And you came out the winner & loving yourself more than you ever could. It shows! Looking forward to more blog posts.

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